It’s Friday, and who doesn’t want a good laugh on Friday?
If you don’t watch New Girl, this might not be funny to you. But, really, why don’t you watch New Girl?
Although I’m a Nick girl, Schmidt might be the funniest character on the show. For Christmas, I bought my friend Cat (of binder clip and satire fame) the Douche Journals, by Schmidt – the character. It’s brilliant.
I skimmed a little online before I gave it to her and found this gem. Enjoy!
Schmidt’s Rules of Fashion:
- First rule of fashion: Only professional athletes may wear olive.
- Second rule of fashion: The perfect pair of sport sandals is not owning sport sandals.
- Third rule of fashion: If it doesn’t need to be washed by hand, throw it in the trash.
- Fourth rule of fashion: It’s not about the wristwatch, it’s about the man wearing a better wristwatch than your crappy wristwatch.
- Fifth rule of fashion: If your wardrobe were a deck of cards, the jokers would be suede.
- Sixth rule of fashion: One day people will talk about Dwayne Wade’s cardigans the way we talk about Thomas Edison’s light bulb.
- Seventh rule of fashion: Besides bearing children, ironing is the noblest thing we do as human beings.
- Eighth rule of fashion: Wrinkle-free shirts lack character and contain asbestos.
- Ninth rule of fashion: Plum is a viable sweater color ever 11 1/2 years. Seriously, it’s how they set the atomic clock.
- Tenth rule of fashion: One percent of your adjusted gross income should go straight to hosiery.
- Eleventh rule of fashion: Men who tan quality leathers should be paid more than doctors.
- Twelfth rule of fashion: Merino wool is the biggest scam since the South Sea Bubble.
- The penultimate rule of fashion: Always match your belt with your attitude.
- The final rule of fashion: Have fun!
Personally, I think it’s a great list. Anything you would add? 🙂
Have a great weekend!