I don’t know if you’ve noticed this (sarcasm font), but I can be a bit dramatic. My parents used to make fun of me because when I got really mad as a kid, I would literally stomp off to my room, making as much noise as humanly possible. I did this long into high school.
But, sometimes, the dramatic is all that seems to fit the situation, and that’s where I am right now. It’s been a rough week, y’all. Turns out, some old emotional wounds I thought were healed, weren’t, and this week, they were reopened, leaving me feeling vulnerable, sad, and physically ill (does your body react to emotional stress, or is that weird?)
I went on a date in hopes of distracting myself; it didn’t work. I ordered cheesy bread for lunch as a way of drowning my sorrows in garlic butter – I only got through about 1/8 of the order. But, you know what did work? What always works: going to the Lord.
Before you think I’m super spiritual, I’ll admit that going to God when I’m really upset is not usually my first response. It should be, as it’s always the most beneficial, but it isn’t. However, I am pretty disciplined in spending time with Him everyday, so in my regular quiet time earlier this week, I was talking to God about all that was on my heart. In many ways, I had brought this pain upon myself, and I fully expected some sort of punishment (beyond just the hurt I’d self-inflicted), because for some reason, that’s still deep down how I believe God operates. Only, that wasn’t at all how God operated with me. Instead, He spoke to me through this verse:
Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!
– Psalm 27:14, NKJV
I’ve read those words dozens of times without them meaning much. This time, though, I felt the Holy Spirit encouraging me that He would strengthen my little broken heart. He saw my tears and instead of saying, “I told you so”, He said, “Come to me, spend time in my presence, and I will heal that heart and make it whole again.” I usually read “wait on the Lord”, as a command to just keep being patient – the good persevering Christian soldier. But, this time, I read it as a call to bask in God’s presence, as He takes what is broken and puts it back together.
There was no condemnation; just an acknowledgment that my heart mattered. As I was reflecting on this verse, two other verses in Psalms came to mind:
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. – Psalm 34:18
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. – Psalm 147:3
God cares about my broken heart. When I cry, He cries with me. There are no stipulations to His compassion. Nowhere in the Bible does it say He only cares about people who are mourning death, or people who have been victimized, or people who are sick. No matter why we grieve, He grieves with us. He cares about each one of us, and the things that are close to our hearts are close to His.
Something that is close to my heart, as you all know well, is Tim Tebow. This may sound ridiculous, but I’m trying to make a point, so stick with me. God (and everyone else) knows I love Timmy, and in the midst of my sadness, God reminded me that He still cares about what I care about, prompting a friend to give me a ticket to hear Tim speak in Knoxville this Sunday. Not only did God not punish or condemn me as I was expecting, He gave me the opportunity to do something I’ve wanted to do for years.
Most likely, Tim will not look out over the congregation and see a divine arrow pointing at my head, indicating that I am the one God has chosen for Him. We probably will not meet at all. But, still, God knew hearing Tim speak would be really special for me, and I believe He gave me the chance exactly when He did to encourage me, reminding me that He hasn’t forgotten me, He isn’t mad at me, and He cares about my broken heart.
Tim Tebow may not fix my heart, but God can, and He’s showing me little by little just how much He wants to do that.
If your heart is broken for any reason – a relationship, a death, unemployment, or just life not working out like you thought it would – I hope you can be encouraged. God cares about your heart, He sees your pain, and if you’ll look for it, I know He will show you ways that He is strengthening your heart, as well.
So, now the only question is:
What does one wear to meet a man who dresses like this?!