By popular demand, here is the story of me asking out my chiropractor that I alluded to a few weeks ago.
First of all, I hope he doesn’t ever read this (not sure how he would?), because I’m not really changing any details.
Second of all, let me assure any legitimate contenders for my affection (??) that I’m not the Taylor Swift of the fashion blogging world. I really don’t talk about dating situations that actually matter – good or bad. But, some of my stories are just so funny/ridiculous/entertaining that to not share them would be a crime.
Third of all, it’s long, but I think you won’t mind.
Those disclaimers made, I’d had a sore back for about 6 months, thanks to an ill-fated trip to the honky tonks on an icy night. I basically just googled a chiropractor near me and showed up. And, he was beautiful.
If you’ve ever been to the chiropractor, you know they get all up in your business, so having one that is good-looking is a little awkward. But, delightful.
My first three visits were great – he grinned so big when I walked in and would sit next to me while I was on this massage table thing and just chat. Then, he told me that I should find some friends with a boat so I could go on the lake with them…and he could come with me! So, y’all, I thought I was golden.
I seldom (never?) ask guys out. I’m just a little old-fashioned in that way. But, I thought the doctor/patient thing might make him think he couldn’t, so on my 4th appointment, I told him I wasn’t coming back for a while because I was feeling better. He seemed sad about it. Then, my appointment ended, and the conversation went like this:
Me: “So, what are the ethics here?”
McDreamy: “Uh…what do you mean?”
Me: “Well, since I’m not going to be here for a while…do I have to officially fire you for us to hang out?”
McD: nervous laughter. “Um, I’m not sure.”
Me: suddenly feeling awkward. “Well, read your chiropractor ethics book and find out.”
We talked about this for another minute or two, I asked if he’d be “disbarred” or whatever, and then we finished with this exchange:
McD: “I think there’d be a fine.”
Me: “Oh, then it’s totally worth it!”
McD: more nervous laughter “Uh, well, I guess I have your number…”
Me: “Haha” (but really, ‘yeah, dummy, it’s on my chart’)
Predictably, he never called. So…that did not work as I’d anticipated. But, I don’t regret asking him because a) I thought I was clever about it, and b) I would have always wondered “what if”, if I hadn’t.
I still think he gave me all the right signs – it honestly didn’t even occur to me that this was a gamble. Oh well. You win some, you lose some. But, this is not the end of the story. Of course.
Unfortunately, I hurt my back again, and since he’d helped so much the first time, I thought I’d be an adult and go back to him. So, I did…
The follow-up visit actually wouldn’t have been awkward, but his receptionist forgot to record the appointment. So, I walked in to an empty office, and him coming from the back in shorts and a t-shirt. For some reason, we still went ahead with the appointment, despite the fact that we were the ONLY TWO PEOPLE IN THE OFFICE. Had my previous attempt at alluring him gone better, this scenario could have been quite romantic. But, alas. It was instead as awkward as befits my life (insert monkey with his hands over his eyes emoji).
So, here I am again at square one. C’est la vie. In that spirit, here is a dress I used to wear on dates all the time. I don’t any more, partly because I haven’t been on a date in a while, partly because I’m tired of it, and partly because I’ve moved on to shorts as my go-to date wear. But, it still has a little wear left in it, and you know I love a good fruit motif.