Tastefully Trendy

A life and fashion blog by Sarah Beth

Tag: bad dates (page 1 of 2)

thank u, next

Happy New Year, everyone!

In the spirit of not making resolutions I won’t keep, I’m going to stop promising how often I’ll have a new blog post. I get embarrassed when I don’t live up to my own expectations, so the new rule is, I’ll write when I have something to say. Or a really great outfit to feature.

Also in the spirit of the new year, and of Ariana Grande, I thought it might be fun to take a trip down memory lane. Reflecting on the past can sometimes be a great way to head into the future.

Unless you’ve been trapped in a fallout shelter for the past month or two, you’ve probably heard Ariana’s new song, “thank u, next.” It has spawned countless memes and an epic music video that took the social media world by storm for a full 24-48 hours.

The basic premise of the song is Ariana looking back on all of her past relationships and reflecting on the good they brought her and the lessons she learned. She ends by talking about focusing on herself and being grateful for all the ways she’s grown, even through difficulties.

Of course, in true 2019 pop star fashion, the song is full of profanity and teenage slang (I honestly don’t see how it’s possible that she’s over the age of 15). However, I really like the sentiment – the idea of looking for the good in all of our life circumstances, including the painful ones.

Can I really say “I’m so [edited] grateful for my ex” about every guy I’ve dated? I’d have to think pretty hard about that. But, I can at least highlight a few:

Thank u, next:  To my grad school guy – thank you for being the reason I made a lifelong friend. There’s nothing like common relationship drama and young T. Swift music to bring two early-20s girls together and make them inseparable for life. Also, thank you for shoveling my snow.

Thank u, next: To the guy I went out with a few times when I was 23 – you prompted me (quite unknowingly on your part, I’m very sure) to refocus my life and reprioritize my relationship with God. My twenties may have looked a lot different had I not known you.

Thank u, next: To the guy I went out with a few times when I was 26 – thanks to you, I went on a 10 month Man Fast, and it was the single best spiritual undertaking in my life thus far.

Thank u, next: To Hot Trainer. We never actually dated at all, but you showed me what respect looked like at a time when I’d experienced very little of it. And you set an impossible standard for text response time with which no man has ever been able compete.

Thank u, next: To the guy from Ohio. I freaked out a little on you. Sorry about that. Thank you for being nice and letting me get it out of my system on you, so no one else need experience it.

Thank u, next: To my chiropractor. Whenever I want someone to think I’m funny, I tell our story, and they always do. Also, you fixed my back, so I appreciate that.

Thank u, next: To the lawyer. We’ll always have Whytheville.

Thank u, next: To the Navy SEAL I went out with that one time. Thank you for helping me realize that it was possible for a man of your caliber to be interested in a girl like me. I’m also glad I can someday tell my grandchildren that I dated a SEAL (you’ll forgive me if I embellish the story a little).

Thank u, next: To Bradley Cooper. You raised my standards permanently and helped me realize what I’m really looking for. And it snowed in Chattanooga in March, which was pretty magical, if you think about it.

Thank u, next: To all the military men I’ve ever dated – thank you for teaching me about your jobs and war zones and the insiders’ scoop on international relations, and for answering my questions about the 2nd Amendment and whether or not we should even be in said war zones. Also, thank you for serving and looking so good in that uniform (heart eyes emoji x 10).

Thank u, next: To everyone else – to the first dates who I genuinely enjoyed talking to, thank you for good conversation. To the first dates that were a little painful, thank you for taking the risk, anyway. To the ones who didn’t ghost me, thank you for being honest, even when it’s awkward. To the ones who did ghost me, thank you for helping me strengthen my own skills at having difficult conversations.

I don’t know what 2019 will bring me, but if I can keep looking for the good, perhaps it’ll all turn out just fine, no matter what.

I do know that 2019 will certainly bring me new clothes, even as I’ve been watching Tidying Up and throwing out tons of old ones (to be fair, I read the book a few months before the series came out and had already begun the process).

But here are a couple of 2018 outfits that will remain in my closet, as they definitely spark joy:
I’m not 100% sure that this dress wasn’t intended to be an “Ugly Christmas Dress” – it’s pretty loud and velvety… But, I love it and proudly wear it, unironically.

Poinsettas are a Christmas flower, of course, but I may still wear this dress into January, as it doesn’t have any Santas or trees on it – I think I can get away with it. It’s just a shame to only wear something you like so much during one month of the year. The next dress was my New Year’s Eve dress. My expectations for NYE are always way too high, and I’m usually disappointed. But, I love the hope found in a fresh start – and the sparkles, of course.

Lest you think I skipped my sequins this year in favor of a more subtle sparkle, please look more closely at my shoes. Sequins will forever have my heart.
I hope you all enjoyed your holidays and are expectant about the new year. Perhaps you might also take a lesson from Ariana (words I would never have expected to come from my mouth) and reflect on some of the past seasons in your life – good and bad – to see how you’ve grown because of them. And, let’s pledge to ourselves to continue to look for that good in every situation we encounter in the new year.

<3,

SB

SB and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Date

I’ve had a suspicion for a long time that my fashion posts really weren’t the most interesting to many of you. Although the original purpose of my blog was to talk about clothing and trends, my audience (aka, you guys. My friends.) seemed to prefer the juicier topics. Based on the fact that about 200 people read my post about weight loss, and only 30 read the following week’s post about casual apparel…I’d say my suspicion was right (shout out to you hard core 30!).

So, in the interest of giving the people what they want, let me tell you about the worst date I have ever been on.

One of the conversation topics that often gets brought up on first dates, particularly if you’ve met the person online, is dating horror stories. And I’ve heard some doozies. Men especially seem prone to being catfished, whether in the more innocent form of a girl using older pictures with good angles, or the more absurd cases where a girl flat-out uses someone else’s pictures.

But I’d always felt a little boring when this topic came up. Either because I’m a pretty good judge of character and weed out the weirdos before I meet them, or because I genuinely enjoy talking to strangers, most of my dates have been pleasant. Pleasant, while not “good”, does not make for an interesting story.

Well, at least until a few months ago…

It started out like any normal Bumble date. We agreed on a specific public location (that I picked, because he was from Bowling Green – an hour and 15 minutes away).

Side note: it seems very flattering when a guy is willing to drive any distance more than 30 minutes to meet me for the first time. But I’ve learned that this should be a warning sign when we’ve only talked for a day or two.

Anyway, we met and I could tell immediately that it wasn’t going anywhere, but we were there, so might as well make the best of it. He told me that I was his first Bumble date, which I was totally fine with. I actually am always kinda happy for guys who have me as their first date from an app – I will be nice to them and I pretty much look like my pictures. If nothing else, it’ll at least be a positive first-date experience. (Side note 2: I told this to another date once, and he said I was the Bumble Mother Theresa, so if you guys want to start calling me that, too, I’m cool with it).

The date was fine. He had two Bud Lights with dinner, and we walked around town for a while after (because dinner ended too quickly for me not to feel guilty sending him all the way back to Bowling Green). At some point, he said that he couldn’t really read me, but I didn’t seem NOT interested. I took great pride in this because, while I was definitely not interested, at least I was nice enough that he didn’t feel like I hated him.

When we finally got back to our cars, he kissed me – and let me assure you guys, hard to read or not, that was NOT the vibe I was giving off. I then got in my car and drove the 15-20 minutes back to my house.

So far, this was a pretty par for the course poor date. Nothing noteworthy, just not good.

And then I got the call.

Literally as I was pulling into my driveway, buddy called me to say that he’d been pulled over and the cop could smell alcohol on his breath.

To save you from scrolling backwards, I’ll remind you of his drink order – two Bud Lights. He was a 34 year old, normal-sized, adult male. Two Bud Lights and somehow the cop could smell them.

Well, spoiler alert, fortunately, he didn’t get a DUI, but the cop wouldn’t let him leave unless someone came to pick him up. But, since he lived in Bowling Green, there weren’t that many people he could call. So, I turned my car back around to get him.

At this point, my niceness was wearing thin, and so was my patience. When I arrived where his truck was parked, he got in my car and said, “I hope you don’t think this was a line.” With no sympathy whatsoever in my voice, I replied, “Of course I don’t think this was a line. It would literally be the worst line in history.”

I wasn’t sure what we could do for an hour while he “sobered up”. He suggested we could just go back to my place, which I FLATLY vetod and suggested instead that we just go walk around some more.

After about an hour of walking, I took him back to his car and he drove back to Kentucky. I drove back to my home and hoped he never texted me again.

But, the next day, he did text me – only to say that while I seemed nice, he just didn’t think it was going to work out.

Y’all – HE dumped ME!

I let him save face, though, because there was no point in making him feel more embarrassed, and I didn’t want to see him again, anyway. So, all’s well that end’s well. And, as the silver lining, I finally have a really good worst-date story to share. Added bonus that it’s at least a safe worst-date story – despite his repeated efforts to kiss me, I really don’t think he was creepy or meant me any harm. He was just really green when it came to dating and had no idea idea what he was doing.

I don’t remember what I wore to meet that guy, but here are a couple outfits I have worn or would wear on dates:

I love this dress for its elegant simplicity. I almost always pair it with gold accessories and makeup and feel like a Greek goddess every time. The perfect summer dinner date outfit.

This one is good for a day date. I actually wore these shorts on one of my favorite dates, but that was in the summer. To make them a little more appropriate for a 90 degree fall day, I swapped my white off the shoulder top for a peach sweater-T (I wish I had had a rust orange top, but you make do with what you’ve got) and my sandals for booties. I think it works.

So there you have it – my worst date story. It’s probably not the craziest story I’ve ever heard, to be honest, but it’s definitely the craziest that has ever happened to me. Do you have any that top that? What’s your worst date – or the worst you’ve heard of? I hope you’ll comment because these stories are my favorites!

<3 ,
SB

Cool Cool

I made a comment on facebook recently that I think I might be losing people’s attention because I haven’t had any good dating stories in a while. So…it’s time to give the people what they want!

One of the reasons there has been a shortage of stories about my love life is that I deleted all of my dating apps. I decided to just give real life a chance again for a while. And real life has treated me pretty well – I can generally weed out the weirdos before I go on a date with them (that doesn’t prohibit me from doing embarrassing things like asking out my chiropractor, but it does limit the awkward interactions), and so my dating experiences are much more pleasant. Perhaps, though, pleasant isn’t as great for my blog readership.

Fortunately for all of you, the other night, a ghost from Tinder past popped up.

For you to understand this story, I need to tell you about a guy I met online back in May. He lived in Knoxville but came to Nashville a lot. We exchanged numbers, and he started texting me. His texts were not exactly stimulating, though… Almost every day, he’d ask me how my day was, I’d answer, and then he’d ask when I got off work. Everyday I’d tell him I got off at 5. Guys, 5:00. Like, that’s not a weird time to remember. But, every day we’d have the same conversation, and I’d tell him the same time. His response was always, “cool, cool.” End of conversation.

Naturally, he became the “cool, cool” guy to my friends. After a week or so of this dead end conversation, I just ghosted. People may disagree with this technique, but when we’ve never met and I’ve shared no more conversation with you then when I get off work and “cool, cool”, I think ghosting is completely appropriate.

Fast forward to last weekend, I went out with some friends for my birthday. A man I’d never seen before came up and started talking to me, and as the conversation progressed, he insisted, repeatedly, that he knew me. I knew I’d never met this guy, and I don’t usually have “one of those faces”, but he insisted. After about 5 minutes, my friends were ready to leave, and I was over the conversation, so I said my goodbyes and the guy asked for my number.

Side note: I almost always give my real number, unless the guy is REALLY creepy. It’s hard to reject someone out right like that, and I don’t like lying by giving a fake number. I figure the worst that can happen is I get a few annoying texts after. Again, you may have a different philosophy on this point than me. That’s fine.

Anyway, the guy texted me while I was standing there so I’d have his number, but I didn’t open the text then. My friends and I went on our way, and it wasn’t until a few hours later that I looked at my phone and saw the unopened text. I opened it, and much to my surprise, there was a text history from that number. And, of course, as you’ve likely guessed by now – it belonged to the “cool cool” guy.

I guess my profile pictures are super memorable, or maybe he just has a photographic memory, because I for sure did not recognize someone whose pictures I’d seen 9 months ago. But, kudos to Cool Cool for being right; technically, we had “met”.

Also, as you might have guessed, I did not ever respond to him. Sorry, buddy. Meeting you in real life had only confirmed what my intuition has previously told me.

So, the morals of the story here are 2-fold. 1) Always listen to your intuition. It will not lead you astray. And 2) never delete your text history.

I was going to show you the outfit I wore that night – it was a very cute romper/choker combo, if I do say so myself. Unfortunately, none of those pictures turned out well. So, instead, here is what I wore on my actual birthday. I told you’d I’d probably wear this tulle skirt – and, I did! (Still not my best representation of a cute outfit. I promise it looked good, though. And I was a big fan of this color combo!)

My Awkward life

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming: My Awkward Life.

Y’all, I had the most awkward moment in my not-as-short-anymore-life a couple weeks ago. And this is coming from the girl who asked out her chiropractor – and then went back to him. It was terrible.

As ground work for this story, let me say that although I’m on this kinda-break from dating, I did have one “pre-existing” guy that resurfaced about the same time I started my break. So, I was grandfathering him in and had a date planned with him for the Tuesday after Halloween.

The Saturday before Halloween, I took my cute little Tooth Fairy costume out on the town with some friends. As I was about to leave (literally, I was checking Uber and Lyft rates), a man dressed as a chicken started talking to me, and he happened to be super interesting. (This is not important to the story, but he was from New Jersey, had gone to college in Oklahoma for the rodeo, moved to Nashville for music, still was the front-man for a band, but during the day was a commodity trader who was loaded and lived on his boat (I called it a yacht, but I think it was technically a boat.). FASCINATING. And it was all true. I googled him.)

Anyway, so the Chicken and I ended up talking outside for quite a while, and as we’re sitting there, a guy high-fives me. While I’m high-fiving him back, I look up and see that his buddy, dressed like a tiger, is the guy I have a date scheduled with for 3 days later.

Awkward.

Pause for a moment and let’s reflect on how small of a town Nashville really is. I run into people I know all the time. Usually in less uncomfortable circumstances.

Back to my story, the Tiger says nothing, but keeps walking, and I tell the Chicken that I have a date with that tiger on Tuesday. I figured he might as well share in the discomfort with me, although to his credit, he was much less phased by it than I was.

The Chicken and I keep talking, and after a little while, I’m calling an Uber again, when from across the street, I hear my name. The Tiger yells hey and waves and keeps walking. And I want to die. The Chicken says I can go talk to him, but that’s weird. I think I just did a little half-step dance move, said “this is the most awkward situation of my life”, and got in my Uber.

Needless to say, nothing ever came of either of those two guys. No big loss with the Tiger – this was about his 4th chance, anyway. But, I wouldn’t have minded talking to the Chicken more, even though I don’t think he shared my values. So, maybe it was for the best.

And, there you have it. Definitely the most awkward moment I’ve ever had – hopefully the most I will ever have. It really was like being in the Mindy Project or some other sitcom. But, I survived, and maybe the two bullets dodged made it all worth it.

Maybe.

As my shirt says, though, “Life is short.” Embrace the awkward (and wear sequins).

1-sequins-glitter-sweater

Nashville Match

So, I’ve started trying to date in Nashville. I say started trying for two reasons:

  1. I had previously been on a few dates, but I wasn’t really looking to actually date then – they were isolated incidents.
  2. Trying is really the key word here. The process is slow.

I joined Match.com again, in hopes of a better pool. I still think Tinder is the most efficient way to meet people, and by and large, Tinder guys are more attractive than on any other dating app/site. However, while I don’t think finding someone who shares my values and actually wants a relationship is impossible on Tinder, I figured my odds were a little better on a paid site. So, because the guys on EHarmony are weird, and the ones on Christian Mingle insist on referencing the Proverbs 31 woman in every profile, Match.com was the obvious choice.

The unfortunate side of Match is that anyone can message you, regardless of how much they do/do not fit within your desired parameters. This leads to a lot of annoying, but sometimes entertaining, messages. Below is an actual transcript of a man who messaged me Easter morning. Since he lives in a different state than me, I didn’t reply…later, I realized the depth of this wisdom, as the following happened around 5:00 Easter afternoon (his comments are noted with a B; mine with an S.)

B: Wow, u are stunning

B: There is zero chance ur single

B: Ur smile is incredible

B: storms are blowing in onto the lake like crazy. So romantic

B: I got the offer of a life time at work tonight

B: so excited. Huge money.

(Next are a series of messages not recorded because apparently Match only stores so many and I hadn’t screenshotted the middle part. It included his number.)

B: Call me

B: I’m a Christian

B: I’m a good man

B: Please take a chance

B: No ?

B: Damn I don’t even know ur name

B: Ur choice

B: Want me to leave u alone ?

B: Good bye pretty girl

B: That’s a yes

B: U never say anything

B: I can’t call?

B: Girl let me treat u like a princess

B: Say something please

B: So completely smitten

B: I don’t think ur interested in being treated like a princess’s

B: Call me

B: Can u please just call me

B: No?

B: I need to hear from u

And that’s where the messages ended. If you noticed an absence of S: comments, that’s because there were none. B was determined, though, and the one-sided conversation continued for about three hours. I kinda felt bad for him in a general sense, but I can’t engage with that. Also, what if I had legitimately been busy? He was assuming I was on my phone reading these messages in my inbox in real time (I was), but what if I’d been at church or for a run – or on a different date?

So, that’s what dating these days is, folks. Wish me luck…

Really, though, I’m (somewhat) optimistic. The pool may not be awesome, but it’s certainly better than in small town, Georgia, and, as my mother always says much to my annoyance/eye rolls, “it only takes one.” Plus, I’m talking to a guy right now who used the word “egregious” correctly in a sentence, so the future is looking bright.

Have you ever been the recipient of these kinds of non-stop (or otherwise troublesome) messages on Match/dating sites? Do you ignore like I do, or do you respond – and if so, how? (I read an article about a girl who messaged guys on Tinder using only Lorelai Gilmore quotes, and I was a little bit jealous of her ingenuity.) Please let me know I’m not alone!

 

It’s a Small World, Afterall

When I moved to Nashville, I made a promise to myself not to use any online dating platforms for the first several months that I lived here. I wanted to get settled, find a job, focus on other things, and ideally, meet someone “organically”, before I gave online another go.  For the most part, I’ve kept that promise…with one notable exception.

To really understand this story, we have to go back a week before Thanksgiving to an occurrence seemingly unrelated…stick with me.

On a random Wednesday night, a couple friends were in town, so we did what you do when friends are in town in Nashville – go to the honky tonks! As we’re dancing, I noticed the band guys (two brothers) were kinda checking me out. I didn’t want to be rude to my dance partner, though, so I just took a picture of their album cover (legitimately, I liked their music), planning to look them up on Instagram. A couple days later, I remembered to do that, followed them, and imagined that they might remember me out of the hundreds of people they saw that night. They did not immediately follow me back, and that was the end of that. I thought.

Fast forward to Thanksgiving, and I look at my phone to see an Instagram notification that one of the brothers had followed me back.  Interesting, I thought – maybe he did remember me?

Shortly thereafter, I got another notification, this time from Tinder.  Naturally, curiosity got the best of me, so I logged in to check and then started scrolling through matches, when I came across a “Super Like” (Tinder has these now.  They’re weird), and low and behold…it was the other brother!

For you to properly understand the irony of this, I think you might need a better understanding of how Tinder works. Tinder is based solely on age and geographic location – so, my parameters are ages 27-40, within 30 miles. In Nashville, that’s an awful lot of men, especially at Thanksgiving when so many people would be around who aren’t regularly.  Additionally, people can pay to change their location so that if they’re out of town, they can still use Tinder in their home city.  This was the case with the band guy – he was actually about 3 hours away, but using Tinder in Nashville.  So, out of the literally thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of men I could have come across on my first Nashville use of Tinder, I came across one that not only I’d seen before, but whose brother had just followed me on Instagram.

I couldn’t resist liking him back, if for no other reason than to see how this drama between the brothers unfolded…  But, in an anticlimactic end to this story, Instagram brother never talked to me after all.  Either they resolved it among themselves (I like to assume they arm wrestled over me), or he was just following me for the sake of the band (the much more likely scenario).

Regardless, I did meet up with Tinder brother (he paid, for those wondering), but that was very short lived for reasons that are unimportant.  However, I couldn’t help but play the words to an old song over in my head before we went out:

Did you ever have to make up your mind? Say yes to one, and leave the other behind. It’s not often easy, it’s not often kind, did you ever have to make up your mind?

Have you ever seen someone on an online dating site that you knew – either by face only, as in my case, or that you really knew in real life?  Which site was it, and how did you respond?  I found a good friend on Match once, and it was interesting to read his profile as I would a potential date’s…he did a good job of representing himself well.  Let’s here your stories, and have a great weekend!

Going Dutch?

Y’all, we need to have a serious discussion.  I’ve noticed an alarming trend in my recent dating life, and I don’t know if I’m the crazy one here, if I’ve lately just found more duds than usual, or if culture changed when I wasn’t looking. But, men have stopped paying on dates.

Here are the facts:

Of the last 6 men I’ve spent time with (excluding a friend who is in a relationship),

  • 2 have not paid at all (in one instance, I had to literally go to the car to get my wallet. In the other, we awkwardly haggled over whose card to use based on who had cash.)
  • 1 paid but only for my two drinks – never offered to buy dinner, even though we were together from 5:30-8:00 pm. You know, dinner time.
  • 1 paid but said I could get it next time.
  • 2 paid for everything.

I’ve tried to analyze this situation.  Of course, none of these were technically “dates”, if you define date by a man saying, “I would like to take you on a date”, vs. “hey, wanna hang out”?  For the sake of the discussion, we can use that excuse, but it doesn’t really hold water since two of these “non-dates” paid.

We could blame it on them not having much money, but 5 of these 6 are very gainfully employed.  All of them knew I was not (not that it’s other people’s responsibility to pay for me because I’m broke – that’s not their fault, and I’m no socialist. But remember, this is a dating situation).

We could say this was just a Northern thing, but one who paid is from Illinois, and one who didn’t, born and bred in Georgia. All live in the South (and are evenly divided between Georgia and Tennessee…so that’s not it, either).

So, the only similarity I can see between those who paid and in contrast to those who didn’t is age.  The two who paid are over 35.  All of the rest are under.

I’m enough of a feminist to feel a little bad that men have to pay all the time and to appreciate that (under usual circumstances), I am perfectly capable of buying my own dinner.  But, that’s not the point.  Society has dictated for centuries(??), that when a man and a woman go out, the man pays – or at least the person who did the asking pays (in this case, the man, of course).  Also, up until two months ago, I don’t think I’ve ever once paid on a date.

So, what’s going on?  Has every millennial man conspired to stop paying for us independent women? And why now – I’ve dated men my age (or younger) before, and this is a new phenomenon. Or, are my expectations just antiquated? If this is the new world, I’ll adjust – but I just want to know if I have to.

(Lest I be misconstrued, I’m always grateful when a man pays.  Yes, experience has taught me to expect it, but I don’t take it for granted and think it’s a very kind gesture.)

What do you think?  If you’re a woman, have you ever paid (on a first date)- does that bother you? Men, what do you think – should guys be expected to pay? Please discuss because I need to know how big of a line item to put in my monthly budget for dates.

My perfect date is October 15 – not too hot, not too cold

Before I moved from Georgia, I actually had a couple of last minute dates.  I really don’t know why – they all knew I was moving, and for the two years I’d lived in Georgia, pretty much the entire male population hated me.  But maybe that competitive gene kicked in when they knew they had to act fast, because suddenly I was quite (relatively speaking, of course), popular.

First dates in the fall are hard, I think.  You don’t want to go all out winter with a wool skirt/tights, but you can’t wear the cotton dresses of summer. So, this is what I came up with. A light background floral is still a little un-seasonal, but with black jeans and closed toe pumps, I figured I could get away with it.  Since he wore a t-shirt and didn’t even suggest dinner, despite the fact that we were together from 5:30-8:00 pm, I guess it was fine (more on that tomorrow…)

1 - floral blouse, skinny cropsDo any of you subscribe to ipsy?  It’s one of those send-you-something-fun-every-month services, but for makeup and skin care, and it’s only $10.  Also, it’s amazing…. Seriously, I love it so much.  The fun of opening the package  each month is worth the $10, but I always get at least one or two things (and usually more) that I really like (including a full-sized bronzer from Tarte).  Plus, it comes in a cute little makeup pouch. Since I really don’t need 10,000 makeup pouches, I’ve started using them as clutches, like the one you see pictured.  Cute, right?  You all should totally subscribe.  And this is not a sponsored post, but ipsy, if you’d like to sponsor me, I had to cut back my expenses when my job was eliminated….so, help a girl out!

What do you think of my fall-ish date night look?  Have you ever used something as a purse that really wasn’t?  If you’re an ipsy subscriber, what’s the favorite thing you’ve ever received in your goody bag?  Let’s talk!

Blazers and Rompers

Sometime this week, I’ve got some exciting news to share with you all!  I guess I say that as a teaser, which is pretty annoying now that I think about it.  But, check back and I’ll eventually spill the beans.

In the meantime, here is an outfit I wore recently on a date.  Believe it or not, every once in a while, I do get a date with a non-inmate in Georgia.  However, since his Muslim best friend had been kicked out of the family for getting his Hindu stripper girlfriend pregnant and both of them were now living with him, this guy and I were still not a really good match.

As is often the case in my dating life, there was no second date.  Of course, I was fine with that for a number of reasons, but I can’t help but still feel a little rejection.  I know why I didn’t want to go out with you again, but why didn’t you want to go out with me?

I guess I’ll never know, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t the outfit, because this is one of my new favorites (that honestly I may never wear again because I like being original with my date attire).  But, it’s cute, right?

A great way to transition some summer clothes into fall is to add a jacket.  It keeps you warm, obviously, but also tones down the summery feel, in this case, of my coral, lace romper.  I don’t have a ton of fall dresses – most of mine are very obviously summer, or wool – so, the romper was a playful alternative.

1 - lace romper, blazerWhat do you think about my date night look?  A win or a definite reason he never asked me out again?  And do you feel a little bad too when someone you didn’t like doesn’t ask you out again, or is that an issue I just personally need to work on?  Let’s talk dating lives, cute outfits, guesses at my surprise news…anything you want to share, I’m all ears!

Deal Breakers

One of the steps in eHarmony’s guided communication is exchanging lists of “Must Haves and Can’t Stands”.  I’ve always hated this stage – in part, because it is just one more obstacle before you can freely talk, and in a free communication weekend, time is literally money.  But, I also don’t like it because the choices are largely so ridiculously vague.  As if someone is going to say on a dating site that they can stand dishonesty or cheating or that good hygiene is negotiable (real choices, folks). As you can see, there isn’t a whole lot to glean from these lists.

So, instead, I thought it would be fun if we made our own Must Haves/Can’t Stand lists, based on real life.  Of course, the ones mentioned above are givens, as are someone who shares my faith, doesn’t live in his parents’ basement, and works a steady job.  But, here are a few that may not appear as choices on e-Harmony.

Must Have: A car.  A working, 4-wheel, gas-powered automobile.  I’ll accept a truck (actually, I prefer it).  What I will not accept is a motorcycle as a sole means of transportation.  I thought my first boyfriend was soooo cool because he only rode a motorcycle – and then it rained.   I spent a lot of rainy nights pretty bored.

Can’t Stand:  A Gronk jersey.  If you’re a Pats fan in general, we’re probably going to have to go through some extra counseling, but supporting Gronkowski makes me not only question your judgment, but also your view of women.  Automatic deal breaker.

Must Have: An addiction to New Girl.  Or be willing to develop one.  There are lots of shows I love that I would not expect you to – Nashville, Once Upon a Time, the Bachelor.  But, if we can’t hang out together with my besties in the loft, it’s probably not going to work out.

Can’t Stand: Name dropping. I went on a date once with a guy who told me about Miss Brazil hitting on him in Starbucks.  Not only is that a weird story to tell on a first date, but from the looks of him, I’m quite positive that did not happen.  (Sorry, buddy, but it’s true!) The same guy also told me he’d met Tim Tebow out one time. You may never misuse the name of Tim Tebow (or Peyton Manning) around me.  Some things are just sacred. I left before I could even finish the second drink he’d ordered for me without my permission.

Must Have: Athletic skills.  I’m completely inept, but you shouldn’t be.  Think of our children!

Can’t Stand:  Swearing on a first date (or worse, before the first date).  Honestly, swearing isn’t that big a deal to me.  I mean, most of the guys I’ve dated were in the military, so it kinda goes with the territory.  But, if you can’t even keep your mouth clean when you’re trying to make a good impression, what am I going to have to listen to 6 months from now when the newness has worn off? It seems disrespectful to me to use it before you even know whether it offends me, and it’s impolite.  Plus, it makes you sound like you have a limited vocabulary (aka, stupid), and if there is one trait I value more than any other, it’s intelligence.

So, there is my list, honed after years of experience, yet, surprisingly, not choices on eHarmony.

What about you?  What are some of the more unusual must haves and can’t stands on your list?  Any that match mine?  (If so, we’re probably kindred spirits and should hang out more often than we do.)  Have a great weekend, everyone!

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