Tastefully Trendy

A life and fashion blog by Sarah Beth

Tag: date night (page 1 of 2)

Cancel Culture

Last week marked 6 months of my living in DC, y’all – can you believe it?! Even more shocking perhaps than how much time has passed is that, global pandemic notwithstanding, I actually really like it here. Some might wonder why I moved to a place I wasn’t sure I’d like, but since I did, let’s all just celebrate that I am happy with my decision.

One of the primary reasons I love living in this area are the friends I’ve already made. With a few notable exceptions, I never really felt like I found my “people” in Nashville. I had a lot of people who cared about me, and I about them. But, having a group of friends where you’re automatically included in weekend plans is harder to find, and something I haven’t had since I left Virginia Beach almost 7 (!!) years ago. To find it so quickly here is an answer to prayer, one I’m not even sure I fully articulated.

Perhaps living in the political capital of the world, though, has made me want to get more political. Or maybe it’s just that everyone else has suddenly decided to get political, so I feel compelled to keep up with the Joneses.

Either way, I have a few thoughts. I took a break from social media (mostly) for the better part of the past month, and it was so refreshing. Everything is heavy right now – every issue is political, from whether or not you like Hamilton, to whether or not you have extra toilet paper in your house. You can’t scroll through any social media platform without being subjected to one-sided arguments shouted at you – from both sides.

I had a really great Fourth of July this year, full of oohs and ahhs over the gorgeous fireworks surrounding the monuments to our national heroes. Imagine my surprise, then, when I came home from the spectacular display to discover that, according to social media, I wasn’t supposed to have celebrated America this year at all. Or at least not without a giant side of vocalized shame.

Imagine my even greater surprise when I learned that Hamilton, a show written by Lin-Manuel Miranda, darling of the liberal artistic community, and whose producers famously refused to cast white actors in its lead roles was now facing criticism for being tone deaf and insensitive because it featured historical figures who had owned slaves. Never mind that a recurring theme with one of the characters was his mission to free the slaves.

Lest there be any confusion, slavery was wrong, and we are still dealing with the repercussions of white America’s horrible treatment of black people 150 years after the slaves were liberated. For more on my thoughts about race, please feel free to read my previous post.

But we can’t just “cancel” every historical figure that did things that were wrong. For one thing, canceling does not accomplish anything. It does not change the past, nor does it promote critical conversations in the present. For another, if you cancel someone altogether, that gets rid of the good they did, as well as the bad.

So, we can cancel Washington because he owned slaves, but then we literally have no country at all, and we drink a lot more tea. (And we still have slaves.) We can cancel Lincoln because he was more concerned with preserving the Union than with ending slavery – but, then slaves still aren’t free. We can cancel Teddy Roosevelt for his racist ideology against Native Americans (and a lot of other non-whites, honestly), but then we have none of our modern environmental protections. We can cancel FDR because of the horrible Japanese internments during WWII, but then we do not have the New Deal and the social programs which became the backbone of the Democratic party. We can cancel LBJ for starting the “War on Drugs” which has unfairly targeted black people, but then we do not have a Civil Rights Act ending segregation and racial discrimination…and I could go on.

We cannot cancel everyone who had inconsistencies with our modern sensibilities because we’ll never be able to stop. Soon, we’ll have nothing left of our history or our nation. A nation which, despite its sins both past and present, has actually done a whole lot of good for a whole lot of people, at home and abroad.

Society is supposed to evolve and grow and become better. Every generation since the beginning of time has thought itself more progressive and enlightened than the one before it, and generations from now will probably look back at us and criticize our attitudes and behaviors, as well. But let’s hope that when they do, they will also see the good that we’ve tried to accomplish and they will have a rational conversation about our positive and negative decisions, rather than a conversation that discards us altogether if we do not achieve moral perfection by their modern standards.

So, take down the Confederate statues – they were also traitors to the country and do not deserve to be honored. But rather than destroying them, let’s put them in a museum so that we can still remember our history, learn from it, and become better. And for everyone else, let’s talk about their contributions both good AND bad instead of just pretending they never existed.

I have more to say, but I’ll save the second half of my history lesson for another post. For now, I’ll just pick back up with where I started this post – with a description of my life in DC, and the part that I think everyone really cares about: my dating life.

Y’all, dating here is not awesome. Everyone said that would be the case, but for a while, I thought they might have been overstating it. All of my dates have had super fascinating jobs and I’ve enjoyed learning about them. But, most of their personalities…have not been as fascinating. And, as I’ve complained before, Nashville is just a prettier town than DC. So far, I know about 2 good looking men in this whole city, and I’ve already dated both of them. But, as has always been the case in my life, hope springs eternal, and maybe now that things are starting to normalize, my fortunes will turn around.

And just so I don’t completely abandon my original purpose for this blog, here is a photo of an outfit that I had posted on Instagram. For the record, I did not, in fact, meet my soul mate that night.

Thanks for reading everyone – much love to you all. And to America; she still deserves it.

<3,
SB

She’s Alive

Hello, everyone. It’s me – Sarah Beth. It’s been a while, so you might not remember me. Fortunately, this blog is full of pictures of just me, so hopefully it’ll all come back soon.

I haven’t written in a while because, well, I just didn’t really have much to say. And, editing these pictures takes so much more time than you would think for as poor quality as they are.

But, I got some new clothes recently that I wanted to show off. And more significantly, I’m still paying $10.95/month to maintain this little website, so I thought I should at least do something with my money.

Also, like the powerful influencer that I am, people keep asking where I’ve been lately. And by people keep asking, I mean one person asked if I still had that blog. But that was all the encouragement I needed.

To that one person, thank you. And, please email me back.

To address what everyone actually cares about: I’m not dating anyone. Actually, I’m not even using the dating apps right now. I still go on dates occasionally – if they happen organically. But, the apps can be exhausting, physically and emotionally. And, I know what I’m looking for, so I’d rather be more selective with my time at this stage of my life.

I have been on some great dates in the past 6 months, though – and some not so great ones (once, my date made me cry at the table and then the waiter thought he was proposing. It was a roller coaster of an evening.). But overall, I’ve had some nice conversations, learned a lot more about the military (naturally), and worn some cute outfits.

Which brings me to my next point:

I recently went hunting for a very specific item – a casual pink skirt. I never found the skirt, but that search led me to buy a ton of stuff from ThredUp, the online consignment/thrift store.

As someone who is not a fan of online shopping anyway, ThredUp was a particularly terrible experience for me. There is just not enough information about the items to know if you’re making a wise purchase or not. Of the 12 things that I bought, I only kept 5 – and a couple of those 5 I would have not kept, but they were unreturnable. (ThredUp doesn’t have a very friendly return policy, either.)

With that said, if you’re looking for something VERY specific (like, you know the brand and size), or something where quality/fit doesn’t really matter, then go for it. The prices are great. But, buyer beware.

The skirt below was one of the 5 things that I kept from that bundle and it’s one that I wouldn’t have picked off the rack. However, once I put it on, I do really like it, so I’m not mad that I couldn’t return it.

This outfit reminded me of Meghan Markle’s character in Suits (my favorite show for fashion, btw). While she would have worn colors and patterns much more suited for a high-powered law office, the silhouette – crew neck sweater, pencil skirt – was a staple of her character’s wardrobe.

The trim down the back is my favorite part.

As opposed to feeling like a well-paid, well-dressed Manhattan attorney, this next outfit made me feel a little like Ronald McDonald. However…I’m obsessed with this skirt (easily my favorite purchase in the ThredUp group), and I’ll be wearing it a lot. I’ll also be wearing these rainbow shoes a lot – I mean, they go with literally everything and remind me of shoes my mom wore when I was a kid.

This next dress was not from ThredUp, but from Charming Charlie (which is going out of business – so, find one soon and buy all the things). Actually, most of this outfit is from CC: the earrings are, as is the barrette. I read somewhere that barrettes are very in right now, and I’m completely here for it.

The dress was $10, and honestly, I think you can tell it’s not a high quality dress. But, for $10, I didn’t really care. It’s a perfect summer date night dress (speaking from experience), and I can throw a sweater on and make it office appropriate.

Finally, here is an outfit I wore to work and probably shouldn’t have – I’m not sure off-the-shoulder is office-appropriate under any circumstances. But, I liked it so much, and my boss was out of the office, so YOLO.

The skirt is a very deep purple and originally from Express, but another ThredUp purchase. For some reason, I don’t usually wear pencil skirts, but thanks to these accidental purchases, I think I’m hooked.

It should be noted that I have other hairstyles than the 1.5 depicted here. But, I took all of these pictures on the same day to try to save time. It did not, in fact, save time.

Well, now you’re all caught up on my life and my wardrobe. I hope all of y’all are doing well, too. What fashion trends are you super into right now? How’s dating going for you? What major life changes have you recently experienced? I’d love to hear from you. Thanks for following along and for caring about my little life – it means the world.

<3,

SB

thank u, next

Happy New Year, everyone!

In the spirit of not making resolutions I won’t keep, I’m going to stop promising how often I’ll have a new blog post. I get embarrassed when I don’t live up to my own expectations, so the new rule is, I’ll write when I have something to say. Or a really great outfit to feature.

Also in the spirit of the new year, and of Ariana Grande, I thought it might be fun to take a trip down memory lane. Reflecting on the past can sometimes be a great way to head into the future.

Unless you’ve been trapped in a fallout shelter for the past month or two, you’ve probably heard Ariana’s new song, “thank u, next.” It has spawned countless memes and an epic music video that took the social media world by storm for a full 24-48 hours.

The basic premise of the song is Ariana looking back on all of her past relationships and reflecting on the good they brought her and the lessons she learned. She ends by talking about focusing on herself and being grateful for all the ways she’s grown, even through difficulties.

Of course, in true 2019 pop star fashion, the song is full of profanity and teenage slang (I honestly don’t see how it’s possible that she’s over the age of 15). However, I really like the sentiment – the idea of looking for the good in all of our life circumstances, including the painful ones.

Can I really say “I’m so [edited] grateful for my ex” about every guy I’ve dated? I’d have to think pretty hard about that. But, I can at least highlight a few:

Thank u, next:  To my grad school guy – thank you for being the reason I made a lifelong friend. There’s nothing like common relationship drama and young T. Swift music to bring two early-20s girls together and make them inseparable for life. Also, thank you for shoveling my snow.

Thank u, next: To the guy I went out with a few times when I was 23 – you prompted me (quite unknowingly on your part, I’m very sure) to refocus my life and reprioritize my relationship with God. My twenties may have looked a lot different had I not known you.

Thank u, next: To the guy I went out with a few times when I was 26 – thanks to you, I went on a 10 month Man Fast, and it was the single best spiritual undertaking in my life thus far.

Thank u, next: To Hot Trainer. We never actually dated at all, but you showed me what respect looked like at a time when I’d experienced very little of it. And you set an impossible standard for text response time with which no man has ever been able compete.

Thank u, next: To the guy from Ohio. I freaked out a little on you. Sorry about that. Thank you for being nice and letting me get it out of my system on you, so no one else need experience it.

Thank u, next: To my chiropractor. Whenever I want someone to think I’m funny, I tell our story, and they always do. Also, you fixed my back, so I appreciate that.

Thank u, next: To the lawyer. We’ll always have Whytheville.

Thank u, next: To the Navy SEAL I went out with that one time. Thank you for helping me realize that it was possible for a man of your caliber to be interested in a girl like me. I’m also glad I can someday tell my grandchildren that I dated a SEAL (you’ll forgive me if I embellish the story a little).

Thank u, next: To Bradley Cooper. You raised my standards permanently and helped me realize what I’m really looking for. And it snowed in Chattanooga in March, which was pretty magical, if you think about it.

Thank u, next: To all the military men I’ve ever dated – thank you for teaching me about your jobs and war zones and the insiders’ scoop on international relations, and for answering my questions about the 2nd Amendment and whether or not we should even be in said war zones. Also, thank you for serving and looking so good in that uniform (heart eyes emoji x 10).

Thank u, next: To everyone else – to the first dates who I genuinely enjoyed talking to, thank you for good conversation. To the first dates that were a little painful, thank you for taking the risk, anyway. To the ones who didn’t ghost me, thank you for being honest, even when it’s awkward. To the ones who did ghost me, thank you for helping me strengthen my own skills at having difficult conversations.

I don’t know what 2019 will bring me, but if I can keep looking for the good, perhaps it’ll all turn out just fine, no matter what.

I do know that 2019 will certainly bring me new clothes, even as I’ve been watching Tidying Up and throwing out tons of old ones (to be fair, I read the book a few months before the series came out and had already begun the process).

But here are a couple of 2018 outfits that will remain in my closet, as they definitely spark joy:
I’m not 100% sure that this dress wasn’t intended to be an “Ugly Christmas Dress” – it’s pretty loud and velvety… But, I love it and proudly wear it, unironically.

Poinsettas are a Christmas flower, of course, but I may still wear this dress into January, as it doesn’t have any Santas or trees on it – I think I can get away with it. It’s just a shame to only wear something you like so much during one month of the year. The next dress was my New Year’s Eve dress. My expectations for NYE are always way too high, and I’m usually disappointed. But, I love the hope found in a fresh start – and the sparkles, of course.

Lest you think I skipped my sequins this year in favor of a more subtle sparkle, please look more closely at my shoes. Sequins will forever have my heart.
I hope you all enjoyed your holidays and are expectant about the new year. Perhaps you might also take a lesson from Ariana (words I would never have expected to come from my mouth) and reflect on some of the past seasons in your life – good and bad – to see how you’ve grown because of them. And, let’s pledge to ourselves to continue to look for that good in every situation we encounter in the new year.

<3,

SB

SB and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Date

I’ve had a suspicion for a long time that my fashion posts really weren’t the most interesting to many of you. Although the original purpose of my blog was to talk about clothing and trends, my audience (aka, you guys. My friends.) seemed to prefer the juicier topics. Based on the fact that about 200 people read my post about weight loss, and only 30 read the following week’s post about casual apparel…I’d say my suspicion was right (shout out to you hard core 30!).

So, in the interest of giving the people what they want, let me tell you about the worst date I have ever been on.

One of the conversation topics that often gets brought up on first dates, particularly if you’ve met the person online, is dating horror stories. And I’ve heard some doozies. Men especially seem prone to being catfished, whether in the more innocent form of a girl using older pictures with good angles, or the more absurd cases where a girl flat-out uses someone else’s pictures.

But I’d always felt a little boring when this topic came up. Either because I’m a pretty good judge of character and weed out the weirdos before I meet them, or because I genuinely enjoy talking to strangers, most of my dates have been pleasant. Pleasant, while not “good”, does not make for an interesting story.

Well, at least until a few months ago…

It started out like any normal Bumble date. We agreed on a specific public location (that I picked, because he was from Bowling Green – an hour and 15 minutes away).

Side note: it seems very flattering when a guy is willing to drive any distance more than 30 minutes to meet me for the first time. But I’ve learned that this should be a warning sign when we’ve only talked for a day or two.

Anyway, we met and I could tell immediately that it wasn’t going anywhere, but we were there, so might as well make the best of it. He told me that I was his first Bumble date, which I was totally fine with. I actually am always kinda happy for guys who have me as their first date from an app – I will be nice to them and I pretty much look like my pictures. If nothing else, it’ll at least be a positive first-date experience. (Side note 2: I told this to another date once, and he said I was the Bumble Mother Theresa, so if you guys want to start calling me that, too, I’m cool with it).

The date was fine. He had two Bud Lights with dinner, and we walked around town for a while after (because dinner ended too quickly for me not to feel guilty sending him all the way back to Bowling Green). At some point, he said that he couldn’t really read me, but I didn’t seem NOT interested. I took great pride in this because, while I was definitely not interested, at least I was nice enough that he didn’t feel like I hated him.

When we finally got back to our cars, he kissed me – and let me assure you guys, hard to read or not, that was NOT the vibe I was giving off. I then got in my car and drove the 15-20 minutes back to my house.

So far, this was a pretty par for the course poor date. Nothing noteworthy, just not good.

And then I got the call.

Literally as I was pulling into my driveway, buddy called me to say that he’d been pulled over and the cop could smell alcohol on his breath.

To save you from scrolling backwards, I’ll remind you of his drink order – two Bud Lights. He was a 34 year old, normal-sized, adult male. Two Bud Lights and somehow the cop could smell them.

Well, spoiler alert, fortunately, he didn’t get a DUI, but the cop wouldn’t let him leave unless someone came to pick him up. But, since he lived in Bowling Green, there weren’t that many people he could call. So, I turned my car back around to get him.

At this point, my niceness was wearing thin, and so was my patience. When I arrived where his truck was parked, he got in my car and said, “I hope you don’t think this was a line.” With no sympathy whatsoever in my voice, I replied, “Of course I don’t think this was a line. It would literally be the worst line in history.”

I wasn’t sure what we could do for an hour while he “sobered up”. He suggested we could just go back to my place, which I FLATLY vetod and suggested instead that we just go walk around some more.

After about an hour of walking, I took him back to his car and he drove back to Kentucky. I drove back to my home and hoped he never texted me again.

But, the next day, he did text me – only to say that while I seemed nice, he just didn’t think it was going to work out.

Y’all – HE dumped ME!

I let him save face, though, because there was no point in making him feel more embarrassed, and I didn’t want to see him again, anyway. So, all’s well that end’s well. And, as the silver lining, I finally have a really good worst-date story to share. Added bonus that it’s at least a safe worst-date story – despite his repeated efforts to kiss me, I really don’t think he was creepy or meant me any harm. He was just really green when it came to dating and had no idea idea what he was doing.

I don’t remember what I wore to meet that guy, but here are a couple outfits I have worn or would wear on dates:

I love this dress for its elegant simplicity. I almost always pair it with gold accessories and makeup and feel like a Greek goddess every time. The perfect summer dinner date outfit.

This one is good for a day date. I actually wore these shorts on one of my favorite dates, but that was in the summer. To make them a little more appropriate for a 90 degree fall day, I swapped my white off the shoulder top for a peach sweater-T (I wish I had had a rust orange top, but you make do with what you’ve got) and my sandals for booties. I think it works.

So there you have it – my worst date story. It’s probably not the craziest story I’ve ever heard, to be honest, but it’s definitely the craziest that has ever happened to me. Do you have any that top that? What’s your worst date – or the worst you’ve heard of? I hope you’ll comment because these stories are my favorites!

<3 ,
SB

Take Me out to the Ballgame

I was out of town last week which always puts me way behind in my blog writing. But, y’all, I was in Utah for work and it was GORGEOUS! I wouldn’t last living there: cold and outdoorsy. But, it was so pretty!

Also, ALL THE TULIPS!!!!

I wanted to cry every time I stepped outside, it was all so beautiful. Seriously.

Anyway, prior to that trip, I went on a date. It was the Saturday before Easter – you know, the Sunday where I needed to leave my house by 7:15 to be at church for 5 hours – so, I probably shouldn’t have gone out. But, how do you resist an invitation to a baseball game? It’s my favorite kind of date!

Except for the clothes…casual clothes are REALLY hard for me. Well, I should say, casual clothes when you want to impress someone are really hard for me. I don’t like wearing flats on dates; I’m short enough as it is. I also prefer to wear rompers or dresses for warm-weather dates. But, obviously, at a baseball game, I can’t look like I’m trying too hard (although, as I was soon to learn, at Nashville baseball games, no one watches the games. I could have worn a romper with wedges and been quite at home with many of the other girls who just walked around the stadium and hung out at the trendy bar past left field.)

So, I settled on this: casual shorts, a t-shirt (but at least a cute one with a ballet back), and floral flats because it’s too early for straight up sandals. Maybe not my best date outfit, but it worked and got me out the door (I was, naturally, running late. I blame it on the casual clothes).

What would you wear to a baseball game – either, normally, or on a date? I feel like my answers to that question would be different depending on the circumstances; maybe yours are, too. Give me some ideas for next time, please!!

The Hot Doctor

By popular demand, here is the story of me asking out my chiropractor that I alluded to a few weeks ago.

First of all, I hope he doesn’t ever read this (not sure how he would?), because I’m not really changing any details.

Second of all, let me assure any legitimate contenders for my affection (??) that I’m not the Taylor Swift of the fashion blogging world. I really don’t talk about dating situations that actually matter – good or bad. But, some of my stories are just so funny/ridiculous/entertaining that to not share them would be a crime.

Third of all, it’s long, but I think you won’t mind.

Those disclaimers made, I’d had a sore back for about 6 months, thanks to an ill-fated trip to the honky tonks on an icy night. I basically just googled a chiropractor near me and showed up. And, he was beautiful.

If you’ve ever been to the chiropractor, you know they get all up in your business, so having one that is good-looking is a little awkward. But, delightful.

My first three visits were great – he grinned so big when I walked in and would sit next to me while I was on this massage table thing and just chat. Then, he told me that I should find some friends with a boat so I could go on the lake with them…and he could come with me! So, y’all, I thought I was golden.

I seldom (never?) ask guys out. I’m just a little old-fashioned in that way. But, I thought the doctor/patient thing might make him think he couldn’t, so on my 4th appointment, I told him I wasn’t coming back for a while because I was feeling better. He seemed sad about it. Then, my appointment ended, and the conversation went like this:

Me: “So, what are the ethics here?”

McDreamy: “Uh…what do you mean?”

Me: “Well, since I’m not going to be here for a while…do I have to officially fire you for us to hang out?”

McD: nervous laughter. “Um, I’m not sure.”

Me: suddenly feeling awkward. “Well, read your chiropractor ethics book and find out.”

We talked about this for another minute or two, I asked if he’d be “disbarred” or whatever, and then we finished with this exchange:

McD: “I think there’d be a fine.”

Me: “Oh, then it’s totally worth it!”

McD: more nervous laughter “Uh, well, I guess I have your number…”

Me: “Haha” (but really, ‘yeah, dummy, it’s on my chart’)

Predictably, he never called. So…that did not work as I’d anticipated. But, I don’t regret asking him because a) I thought I was clever about it, and b) I would have always wondered “what if”, if I hadn’t.

I still think he gave me all the right signs – it honestly didn’t even occur to me that this was a gamble. Oh well. You win some, you lose some. But, this is not the end of the story. Of course.

Unfortunately, I hurt my back again, and since he’d helped so much the first time, I thought I’d be an adult and go back to him. So, I did…

The follow-up visit actually wouldn’t have been awkward, but his receptionist forgot to record the appointment. So, I walked in to an empty office, and him coming from the back in shorts and a t-shirt. For some reason, we still went ahead with the appointment, despite the fact that we were the ONLY TWO PEOPLE IN THE OFFICE. Had my previous attempt at alluring him gone better, this scenario could have been quite romantic. But, alas. It was instead as awkward as befits my life (insert monkey with his hands over his eyes emoji).

So, here I am again at square one. C’est la vie. In that spirit, here is a dress I used to wear on dates all the time. I don’t any more, partly because I haven’t been on a date in a while, partly because I’m tired of it, and partly because I’ve moved on to shorts as my go-to date wear. But, it still has a little wear left in it, and you know I love a good fruit motif.

1 - mint green dress, yellow accessoriesHave a good day, everyone! And be bold! It does make life more exciting, even if it doesn’t work out like you’d planned.

Date Night Uniform

The other night, I went on a date that was actually really good. I don’t know if anything else will come of it than a good date, but it was nice to have a really enjoyable one for a change – especially since earlier that morning, a guy online had asked me to be his baby mama. Not as a euphemism for hooking up. He literally was looking for someone to bear his child… 🙈

Alas, I did not get a picture of my date night outfit because I was running late (duh). So, here’s one that I wore on a date several months ago (as you can tell by my Christmas tree, wool skirt, and tights). First of all, I LOVE these earrings, and I’m pretty sure I built this outfit around them. Second, I really like wearing casual pieces dressed up for dates. It’s a put-together look that doesn’t seem as if you were trying too hard. So yes, I wore a skirt and patent wedges, but I paired it with a t-shirt, so I still looked appropriate for the VERY casual fine dining establishment he chose (y’all, I’m just going to be honest. I’ve become a bit of a restaurant snob, and chains are just hard for me).
1 - date night t-shirtDo you have a go-to date look? In the summer, mine is typically a cute t-shirt with a skirt, or shorts with a dressier blouse – some combo of dressy and casual. Winter is similar, just with tights – ha! Married or single, what’s your usual uniform for nights out? I’d love to hear some new ideas!

The Musician Type

I’ve only gone on a couple of dates since moving to Nashville, mostly because I haven’t had time to even think about it, much less to do anything online, which is, unfortunately, about the only way to meet people these days.

I’m starting to get the itch, though, and putting my feelers out – tentatively and slowly, with great hopes that I’ll run into a celeb somewhere and be swept away in my real life Cinderella story.

This outfit was one I did wear on a date a few weeks back. I need to remember it for another time, because I think it was mostly lost on the guy I went out with.  But, no harm, no foul.  He was my first Nashville “up and coming” musician, and as someone who always likes trying new stereotypical things, I was glad to get it out of my system.

These earrings are one of my favorite pairs, but I generally reserve them for summer outfits; I loved getting to wear them on a chilly winter night, courtesy of a mint-green t-shirt that paired well with a wool skirt and tights (don’t worry, I had a cute jacket so I didn’t actually freeze).
1 - date night t-shirtHave you ever dated a stereotype?  That’s probably an unkind thing to label him – he’s still a real person, even if he did fit the musician mold quite well.  Let’s here your stories of unoriginality!

Going Dutch?

Y’all, we need to have a serious discussion.  I’ve noticed an alarming trend in my recent dating life, and I don’t know if I’m the crazy one here, if I’ve lately just found more duds than usual, or if culture changed when I wasn’t looking. But, men have stopped paying on dates.

Here are the facts:

Of the last 6 men I’ve spent time with (excluding a friend who is in a relationship),

  • 2 have not paid at all (in one instance, I had to literally go to the car to get my wallet. In the other, we awkwardly haggled over whose card to use based on who had cash.)
  • 1 paid but only for my two drinks – never offered to buy dinner, even though we were together from 5:30-8:00 pm. You know, dinner time.
  • 1 paid but said I could get it next time.
  • 2 paid for everything.

I’ve tried to analyze this situation.  Of course, none of these were technically “dates”, if you define date by a man saying, “I would like to take you on a date”, vs. “hey, wanna hang out”?  For the sake of the discussion, we can use that excuse, but it doesn’t really hold water since two of these “non-dates” paid.

We could blame it on them not having much money, but 5 of these 6 are very gainfully employed.  All of them knew I was not (not that it’s other people’s responsibility to pay for me because I’m broke – that’s not their fault, and I’m no socialist. But remember, this is a dating situation).

We could say this was just a Northern thing, but one who paid is from Illinois, and one who didn’t, born and bred in Georgia. All live in the South (and are evenly divided between Georgia and Tennessee…so that’s not it, either).

So, the only similarity I can see between those who paid and in contrast to those who didn’t is age.  The two who paid are over 35.  All of the rest are under.

I’m enough of a feminist to feel a little bad that men have to pay all the time and to appreciate that (under usual circumstances), I am perfectly capable of buying my own dinner.  But, that’s not the point.  Society has dictated for centuries(??), that when a man and a woman go out, the man pays – or at least the person who did the asking pays (in this case, the man, of course).  Also, up until two months ago, I don’t think I’ve ever once paid on a date.

So, what’s going on?  Has every millennial man conspired to stop paying for us independent women? And why now – I’ve dated men my age (or younger) before, and this is a new phenomenon. Or, are my expectations just antiquated? If this is the new world, I’ll adjust – but I just want to know if I have to.

(Lest I be misconstrued, I’m always grateful when a man pays.  Yes, experience has taught me to expect it, but I don’t take it for granted and think it’s a very kind gesture.)

What do you think?  If you’re a woman, have you ever paid (on a first date)- does that bother you? Men, what do you think – should guys be expected to pay? Please discuss because I need to know how big of a line item to put in my monthly budget for dates.

My perfect date is October 15 – not too hot, not too cold

Before I moved from Georgia, I actually had a couple of last minute dates.  I really don’t know why – they all knew I was moving, and for the two years I’d lived in Georgia, pretty much the entire male population hated me.  But maybe that competitive gene kicked in when they knew they had to act fast, because suddenly I was quite (relatively speaking, of course), popular.

First dates in the fall are hard, I think.  You don’t want to go all out winter with a wool skirt/tights, but you can’t wear the cotton dresses of summer. So, this is what I came up with. A light background floral is still a little un-seasonal, but with black jeans and closed toe pumps, I figured I could get away with it.  Since he wore a t-shirt and didn’t even suggest dinner, despite the fact that we were together from 5:30-8:00 pm, I guess it was fine (more on that tomorrow…)

1 - floral blouse, skinny cropsDo any of you subscribe to ipsy?  It’s one of those send-you-something-fun-every-month services, but for makeup and skin care, and it’s only $10.  Also, it’s amazing…. Seriously, I love it so much.  The fun of opening the package  each month is worth the $10, but I always get at least one or two things (and usually more) that I really like (including a full-sized bronzer from Tarte).  Plus, it comes in a cute little makeup pouch. Since I really don’t need 10,000 makeup pouches, I’ve started using them as clutches, like the one you see pictured.  Cute, right?  You all should totally subscribe.  And this is not a sponsored post, but ipsy, if you’d like to sponsor me, I had to cut back my expenses when my job was eliminated….so, help a girl out!

What do you think of my fall-ish date night look?  Have you ever used something as a purse that really wasn’t?  If you’re an ipsy subscriber, what’s the favorite thing you’ve ever received in your goody bag?  Let’s talk!

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